Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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