lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
