Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I just put wine in my tea
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
