The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
