i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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