So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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