I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
