All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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