is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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