This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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