One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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