i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
