That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its about making memories worth repressing
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
