I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize