I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
