Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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