It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I will pee on everything he values.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize