I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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