i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
