His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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