My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
