I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
