yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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