The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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