Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
