You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
