PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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