You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
