Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize