Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
