I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
