is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
