he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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