I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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