The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
