Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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