all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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