I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
