Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
