So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
