just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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