He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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