So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
