If i come over, it means nothing
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
