let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you had me at cake vodka
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
