I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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