I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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