What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
