I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
