next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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