I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
