At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
bring money and cleavage
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
