i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
