Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
