somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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