That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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