i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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