So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Farmville is her only friend.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
