If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
