She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
