Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
