my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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